Hari abahungu cyangwa abakobwa bashaka kubera igitutu cy’ababakikije kuko imyaka iba imaze kuba myinshi, hatitawe ku rukundo cyangwa se ku zindi ndangagaciro zigenderwaho kugira ngo umuntu ashake.
Bamwe mu bashakanye kubera kwanga kugwa ku ziko ndetse n’ababiteganya baganiriye n’Izuba Rirashe maze batanga ubuhamya.
Aline (si izina rye nyakuri) w’imyaka 36, ni umugore w’abana 2 akaba amaze imyaka 9 ashatse.
Avuga ko uwamusubiza ubuto bwe atakongera gukora amakosa yakoze.
Aline avuga iby’urushako rwe muri aya magambo: “nabanye n’umugabo ntakunda kuko uwo nakundaga yari atarabona ubushobozi bwakubaka urugo.
Umuryango wanjye n’inshuti zanjye zangiriye inama yo kureka uwo nakundaga nkabana n’uwihuta ufite gahunda kuko bangaga ko nazahera ku ishyiga kandi naritesheje umugabo ukize.
Tugihura, yanyerekaga urukundo akanjyana ahantu heza, anansaba kuva ku kazi kuko kamvunaga kandi we ntacyo abuze.
Nemeye kubana na we nyuma y’amezi 6 yonyine tumenyanye kuko numvaga bavuga ngo urukundo ruramera ariko naje gusanga naribeshye.
Ubu umugabo wanjye twarananiranwe, nubwo nkomeza kwihambira ngo ntazasubira iwacu cyangwa se nkiteza rubanda.
Nasanze imico ye ntayihanganira, arakazwa n’ubusa, ashaka kunkandamiza kandi akumva ko ntacyo nshoboye. Ntashaka ko nkora akazi ngo ninjize nk’abandi kuko amfuhira cyane, kandi n’amafaranga ntakiyampa nk’uko yabikoraga tutarashakana.
Ikibabaje muri ibyo byose ni uko ntamukunda ku buryo kumwihanganira bingora. Burya iyo ukunda umuntu ugira ubushobozi bwo kwihanganira amafuti ye, ariko iyo utamukunda ntubishobora.
Nagira inama abandi bakobwa batarashaka, kwirengagiza ibyo abantu bababwira ngo barashaje cyangwa se ngo baritesha amahirwe y’umugabo.
Burya umuntu aba agomba gukora ubukwe n’umuntu akunda. Niba atarabasha kubona ubushobozi, ni byiza kwihangana ugategereza igihe ubw’ibanze buzabonekera cyangwa se mukabana mu bukene.”
Aline asoza avuga ko gufata icyemezo cyo kubana n’umuntu igihe cy’ubuzima cyose gisigaye atari ibyo guhubukira, ahubwo umuntu aba agomba kubitekerezaho cyane.
Eric (na we si izina rye), ni umusore w’imyaka 32 wikorera mu Mujyi wa Kigali. Avuga ko kuri we icy’ibanze ari ugushakisha amafaranga kuko nayabona n’umugore azaba amufite.
Ubuhamya yahaye ikinyamakuru Izuba Rirashe bukubiye muri aya magambo: “Kuri ubu nkundana n’abakobwa ariko nta gahunda yo kubana irimo. Njyewe nshishikajwe no gushaka amafaranga umunsi nayabonye abakobwa bazanyishakira mpitemo uwo kubana na we ntiriwe nanatereta.
Nshishikajwe no kwagura ubucuruzi bwanjye ndetse no kubaka inzu hanyuma iby’umugore byo ni ibintu byoroshye cyane kuko urukundo rutagikurikizwa harebwa umusore ufite gahunda, kandi kugira gahunda bivuga kugira amikoro.
Icyo abantu bamwe na bamwe babivugaho
Donatien Niyonzima, umwanditsi mukuru w’Igazeti ya Leta:
Igitutu gishyirwa ku bakobwa n’abahungu kiratandukanye bitewe n’uko abakobwa badateye kimwe n’abahungu yaba mu buryo bw’umubiri ndetse no mu muryango rusange.
Abakobwa iyo bashaje cyangwa se imyaka imaze kuba myinshi kubyara biba ikibazo cyangwa se bakagira ibibazo bindi by’umubiri.
Iyo umukobwa ashaje kandi ntaba acyifuzwa n’abahungu kandi aba afite ibyago byo kubyarira mu rugo bikaba ari igisebo ku muryango, bigatuma ababyeyi bashaka kumwikuraho hakiri kare.
Gusa iyo umukobwa yifashe neza ntiyiyandarike, akagira ubwenge mu mutwe, agakunda gukora, akaba umunyamutima ndetse byaba byiza akaba anasenga bituma yifuzwa n’impande zombi (ababyeyi n’abasore) kabone n’iyo yaba ashaje ababyeyi baba bakimwifuza ndetse n’abahungu baba bamushakamo umugore w’imico myiza.
Abahungu bo, ntibakunda gushyirwaho igitutu kuko bariragira bakanicyura. Iyo bagishyizweho, biba ari ukubasaba kuzana umwuzukuru.
Gusa, si byiza ko umuhungu arindira gusaza ngo ashake umugore, kuko nubwo abenshi bavuga ko nta mikoro bafite, mu mafaranga umuntu aba yinjiza akoze ingengo y’imari neza ntakore iby’ikirenga yashaka umugore.
Burya urugo ruryoha iyo umuntu akiri muto, si byiza ko ubyara abana ugeze mu za bukuru warafashe na pansiyo.
Janviѐre Iyonagize, umukozi mu karere ka Muhanga:
Umukobwa ashobora gushaka kubera uburyo abayeho: ubupfubyi, ubukene, cyangwa se kuko abona abo bangana barashatse na we akumva ko agomba gushaka. Ikindi ni ukumva ko mu gihe abonye umuntu afite ubushobozi atamwitesha kugira ngo abone ibyo atavunikiye.
Bene abo bakobwa nabagira inama yo kwitonda bagashaka nta yindi mpamvu bagendeyeho usibye kuba bakundana bakumva ko bashobora kubana.
Onesphore Dushimimana, umukozi mu isomero: Igikunze kugaragara ni uko usanga hari abantu bashaka kubera igitsure baba bashyizweho n’ababyeyi cyangwa abandi bantu babari hafi bakabikora atari uko babikunze ahubwo ari ukugira ngo birinde bene urwo rusaku rubagaruka mu matwi.
Nyamara ariko ibi bigira ingaruka zitandukanye ku rugo rushyashya kuko usanga nyir’ukubaka aba agiye gukora ibitamurimo ahubwo ari ukugira ngo ashimishe ababyeyi.
Uru rugo rero ntirushobora kuramba kuko ntiruba rwubatswe kubw’urukundo n’ubushake bw’abashakanye.
Kubaka urugo ku bwanjye nsanga ari urugendo rwa ngombwa kandi rurimo ibiruhanya bityo rero ugiye kubaka utarabyitegura neza, ntekereza ko byakugiraho ingaruka ku buzima bwawe bwite, ubw’uwo mwubakanye ndetse n’abazabakomokaho, ni ukwitonda rero kuko amabwire si yo yubaka.
Yanditswe na Marie Anne Dushimimana, itangazwa bwa mbere n’Izuba Rirashe.
