Kuzinukwa uwo mwashakanye ni igihe ugeramo ukumva utakimukunda, utamwiyumvamo, ukumva utakinifuza kumureba mu maso ndetse no kumva aho avuga. Iki rero ni ikibazo gikomeye cyane kuko bituma abashakanye bashobora gutandukana.
Ibi biterwa n’ibintu byinshi nko kuba warashatse uwo utakunze kubera impamvu zitandukanye, kuba waramukundaga ariko akaguhemukira mu buryo butandukanye, kuba atakwereka urukundo, kuba aguhohotera mu buryo butandukanye, n’ibindi byinshi.
Kubana n’uwo utishimiye biravuna cyane, ariko nubwo byaba byarakubayeho ukaba wumva umaze kuzinukwa uwo mwashakanye, umuti wa mbere si ugutandukana, hari ikindi wabanza kugerageza gukora gutandukana ukazaba umwanzuro wa nyuma ibindi byananiranye.
Dore icya mbere wagerageza gukora, banza urebe niba udashaka ko uwo mwashakanye umusaba gukurikiza ibyifuzo byawe gusa we ntiwumve ibye, niba ariko bimeze ubanze ubikosore.
Akenshi usanga amakosa abashakanye baregana ashingiye ku kuba umwe yakoze ibyo undi adakunda cyangwa atifuza. Abantu bamwe bakora ikosa ryo kumva ko uwo bashakanye yakora ibyo we yifuza, akagenda uko amutegetse, kandi burya ibyo ntibyashoboka ko
umuntu aba nk’uko undi abaho.
Nyamara ugomba kumenya ko ibyifuzo byawe byose bidahora ari ukuri kuko niba iyo uwo mwashakanye akora ibinyuranye n’ibyifuzo byawe ukabifata nk’ikosa ukarakara, ibyo siko
bigomba kugenda buri gihe, geragegeza umuhe uburenganzira bwo kubaho uko abishaka abe uwo ari we.
Icya kabiri isuzume urebe ko waba waramukunze nta kintu ushingiyeho mbere yo kubana cyangwa mwabanye utamukunda. Kimwe mu bintu bituma
umuntu atangira kumva azinutswe uwo bashakanye ni uko hari ibintu runaka
uba warashyize mu mutwe ko uzabonera kuri we watangira kubibura ukamwanga.
Ikindi hari ubwo uba waramushatse utamukunda ubitewe n’ibikomere wahuye nabyo mu buzima bwawe, cyangwa warabitewe n’umuryango wawe, ukagenda wizeye ko uzagezaho
ukamukunda hanyuma bikanga, bityo ugatangira kumuzinukwa.
Ikindi twavuga, banza usuzume niba udashaka ko agukorera byinshi kurusha ibyo wowe umukorera. Ibi bikunze kuba ku bagabo bamwe, bifuza buri gihe ko abagore babaha icyubahiro, bakabakorera byose bo biyicariye, kandi bo ntibanagerageze kubereka urukundo kandi abagore baba barukeneye cyane kuruta ibindi byose.
Hari igihe umwe mu bashakanye ahora yifuza gukorerwa ibyiza aho kugira ngo nawe abanze abimukorere agahora yibwira ko azabikora ari uko nawe yabanje gukorerwa ibyo ashaka.
Buri wese akwiye gukorera undi ibyiza atabanje gutegereza ko abikorerwa
kuko ibyo ni nko guhimana cyangwa guhangana kandi ntibyubaka birasenya.
Icyo twasorezaho, kora urutonde rw’ibyiza yaba yaragukoreye mu buzima bwanyu. Kuba abantu bahora bareba ibibi gusa nabyo biri mu bituma ingo nyinshi zisenyuka ugasanga niba uwo mwashakanye akoze ikosa rimwe gusa rihise rikwibagiza ko hari ibyiza
ajya agukorera. Hari abagabo bamwe bihutira kubona amakosa y’abagore ariko ibyiza umugore yakoze umugabo ntiyerekane ko yabibonye, wenda ngo amushimire ko yakoze neza.
Abagore nabo badashimira abagabo babo iyo bakoze neze bariho ariko ibi byose ni bibi kuko bituma umwe ahorana umubabaro aterwa n’undi kandi akaba yanamuzinukwa.
Kuzinukwa uwo mwashakanye rero, bishobora guterwa n’amakosa agukorera
ariko na none hari ubwo usanga ayo makosa ye yivanga n’ayawe bikarushaho kuba bibi cyane.
Niba rero wumvaga umaze kuzinukwa uwo mwashanye, gerageza kwita kuri izi nama tukugiriye, ubanze ukosore ibyo ubona ko ufitemo uruhare, bizabafasha kubana neza mu
mahoro no mu rukundo.
Igitekerezo cya Violette Mukabahizi, cyatangajwe bwa mbere n’Izuba Rirashe.
